Angry mobs of violent bees.

We have moved successfully and that is that. Now I just have to figure out how the bus system works down there, I think I have it sorted I might do a canvas run tonight and today I'll print off my bus time tables.
Seriously why do Firstbus have such complicated time tables? anyhoo I'll figure it out I'm sure.

I have a massive headache coming on, I have had to ball the palms of my hands into my eye sockets so many times today, with a little residual twang thumping behind my temples. I'll love to just sleep for a while. I think I might just spend my lunch break sleeping on the grass in the sunshine. Try to placate the angry, marching mob writhing around my brain, even if it is only for an hour. I need to just lay still. I should probably eat something too.

Anyhoo it is just a little catch up.
xxxxx
f

OFOTD..... SUPER SMART look going on.

Suit jacket, long black skin tight dress, sleeveless, and a grey three buckle belt. 

with stockings and heels. 

:D 

I feel good.

Happiness in a sea breeze,

There is something so nice about the weather today.
Hot with a nice breeze. It is lovely just to sit outside and bast in the glorious sunshine, with a breeze tickling your skin. I can almost smell the rain in the air, tomorrow we'll have rain.

It reminds me of the coast of South Africa, beautiful and glorious sunshine, with flash showers of pouring rain, but it is different to the rain here. The rain here is cold and piercing, in SA it is warm and enveloping, it wraps its self around you and into your skin, the earth exudes the sweet smell of grass and rain water with hints of flowers in between gusts of wind.

I miss it, I miss the smell of the sea on the wind, the feel of sand between my toes and sticking to my legs, I miss scratching sand out of my hair and my ears, that strange crazy calm that washes over me when I get out of the sea and let the sun bake my skin, drying it at the same time. The idea, the mere notion that I will be baking on a beach in less than 4 months, drives me crazy with joy and happy little butterflies flutter about in my belly. I cannot wait to go.

Hello,

Happy and Healthy, someday I'll be hench too.

Okay, so on Thursday I started a little bit of a thing.
it is not a big thing, but it is a thing none the less.
I'm busy trying to bulk up my muscles and tone up. So I have started with squats and am gradually building on my glutes and trying to get a really nice bottom, tonight I have started 'kayaking' which is part of the P90x work out.
I think I'd like to do the 90 day P90X challenge at some point but right now I need to tone just my arms, thighs, bum and belly.
I'm going to see how it goes, for now I am starting off simple, with a few workouts a week, mainly squats once a day with 'kayaking'. I'm trying to confuse my body, so it will be different everyday, for tonight it is 'kayaking' x 120, crunches x 100, squats x 40, lunges x 30 ( 15 per leg) , reverse lunges x 30 (so it is 15 each leg).
Tomorrow it is Kayaking x 120, crunches x 100, incline and decline pushups x 50 each (if I can get there, I might just do those tonight instead of tomorrow as I get home late from work and won't really have the time.)  and squats x 60.

I want to vary the amount I do everyday so it is never the same, that way it becomes a bit more challenging for the days on which I do more. Eventually I want to start running, but not until I have sorted out a bit more muscle. My arms need to build up a lot more muscle, at the rate I am looking to be going I think I will be able to do a heck of a lot of pushups in the near future. I have learnt that it is something I need to work on. I am tired of looking at my arms and being irritated with the flab. Even if it is not a lot, I want those beautiful lines and definition on my arms. I know I have lost a lot of weight and I am a size 10 now but that means nothing, I want to be a size 10 but a toned and defined size 10, I really cannot stand my belly at the moment.

I always say to people, if you are unhappy with the way that your body is, CHANGE IT, right now I am unhappy with the state that my body is in, therefore I am changing it. I am going to stick to this little routine, I have worked it into my day so that I will always have time for a few lunges and squats, EVEN if I am busy doing something else, like throwing in a few squats while my bath is running, doing a couple of lunges when I am outside smoking at college, crunches when I wake up in the morning and am getting out of bed, incline and decline pushups when I am busy getting dressed or undressed at the end of the day. It is all easily done when you just work it into your routine, just the other day at work I did ten squats at work while I was washing my hands in the loo. I cannot wait for this flab to be gone.


Anyhoo, I have some more working out that needs to be done, so I will catch you guys later.
Stay safe, happy and healthy.
xxxxx
F

OFFTD....Smart.

A black silky blouse, with a pin stripe waist coat and a pencil skirt.
some black tights and heels.
I'm ready to go.

Salesss.

I swear..... I have this buzz that comes from selling things... I LOVE SELLING THINGS!!!
I don't know why...
Anyhoo....
Few things on Ebay and Etsy..
Check it outtt man! 
Just a few things on at the moment. more to come.

xxxx

F 

Selling Ice To Eskimos.

you know what?
I should just live and breathe sales and training and selling services.
I think there is nothhhhinggg better in this world than seeing someones face after you have just sold them something amazing, after you have just shown them a concept that they never even knew was possible.
It is amazing how happy I get when I sell someone something that will actually be useful and helpful in their lives. Not some hunk of crap that they will never use.
Some thing that makes them warm and fuzzy inside. Something useful.
That is what I love doing. Improving someones life, or improving the way the way that they see technology.
Simple.
Screw the rest. It is not about selling as much stuff as possible, it is about selling something that is needed and worthwhile something that is actually going to be used and will improve someones life. That is all.
I don't want to be that kind of sales person that sells people things that they don't need or even want. I'd like to find the right solution, the bits and bobs that suit the person. Not the bits and bobs that suit my stats and targets. :)
My little shop.
Enjoy.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/CyberThreads

xxx
F

Such an awful thing to make somebody think.....

Just a few things to note at the moment.

1. I passed my training which means I still have a job. 
2. I am so tired.
3. I can't sleep properly. 

The last two weeks have been awesome, I swear of all the jobs I have had this is the one I enjoy the most. (of the official jobs, not the self-employed/freelancer ones) I get to play with gadgets all day. I get to talk to people and learn stuff, ALL DAY. I get to work with a bunch of people that are actually lovely and full of life. I remember times where I have just wanted to walk into a gadget shop and play with all the funky things they have to offer, I have always been a bit too shy to do that though. 

Now I work in a place full of gadgets and bits and bobs that are absolutely super cool. I have learnt more about laptops and pc's and cables in the last two days than I have in an entire lifetime of living with geeks. I actually like going to work and leaving absolutely shattered and ready to drop into bed straight away. I left work on Wednesday without that satisfactory ache, my feet felt fine, it felt strange, Wednesday was too quiet. I wasn't bouncing all over the place, yaking and helping, cleaning and 'facing-up' and doing all the little busy body things that I find myself doing on a busy day. I wasn't very happy, but I think I enjoyed it none the less.

Gumpy, tired Moo. 

Now with all my working and aching and being busy I have honestly been absolutely tired, worn-out and dead on my feet by the time I get home. I still can't sleep when I get into bed after a long day. I lay there and toss and turn and I loath the staring at the ceiling spiel. I finally fall asleep and then I am awake within the hour. and every two or three hours there after. I wonder if there is any cure for this? 

I wonder how my brain could be so busy, constantly.... You know it is around one or two am before I just stop checking the time... How can I sleep? I just want to sleep.... Like now I feel damn tired, the minute I get into bed I won't be able to sleep, I bet you...

I have work tomorrow at ten, I'll be awake by about four am, then five am and then six am and I will probably just get out of bed at seven when I finally tire of playing the nap game with my body, when my brain refuses to shut up. :/ I look forward to a damn busy day tomorrow so I can sleep well on Saturday night. 

Hmm I would like to crawl into bed and sleeep until tomorrow without waking up once during the night and early morning.

I think I want nicotine first. 

xxxxxx

F

I felt my tongue move within my mouth and I began to speak....

You know I wonder sometimes what I am capable of? 

Will someone, one day push me to my limits? Will I snap, blackout and do something I'd regret? Where is that cut off line? How far can people be pushed? I wonder not only what I am capable of I wonder what others are capable of. I wonder how much it will take before people throw the towel in and lose it entirely. 

How much pressure can people take? why are we all so different? why can others take more and others take less? I envision myself losing all self control and letting the rage go. I close my eyes and I picture that rage burning out of veins and turning me into some kind of monster. some kind of tank with endless energy. 

I can only put into words half of what I wonder, the rest slips out of my mind the second it presents itself to my conscious mind, like water pouring out of a sieve. I make whole speeches in my mind and they are damn good, yet the minute I sit down to type them up the slip away, like I have but one thought in my brain, like I have some kind of diminished mental capacity. I think someday that is what will push me to my limit. I think I'd go insane if I could no longer express the few thoughts that are writable. I'd go mad. 

I guess this world, this day and age is a gamble, everything is a race against time, like that shitty film 'In Time' with Justin Timberlake.. you buy time and hope and pray to god that you don't wake up insane. You hope and pray that you are not just lost in a film or a dream of some kind. If you look good, even better, you get further. If you are smart, fantastic, you make money. If you are bad and corrupt, WHOOOOHOOO, you get a free ride straight to hell and a fat pay check and a heck of a lot of people following you and lapping up your glory. but of course this is only my explanation, my reasoning for the degradation of this world we live in  . 

I often find myself looking at people, watching them, observing them wondering what their limits are, what will send them over the edge. What makes some easier to send over than others, why are some weak and others strong. 

There are too many questions in my head that are only answerable with more questions. I really should be sleeping, but I just have to get this out of my brain, otherwise I won't sleep at all. I watch all of these films and I wonder questions that I cannot seem to find answers for. like was god just playing a sick joke when he made people of different skin tones hate each other, what good does it do to hate another human for the tone of their skin? I can't answer that question, why do people hate others for no other reason other than the color of their skin? why? why is it so important? you know that is one question that bugs me most, I know not many people are going to read this and even care but it is a damn good question, why not hate someone for the atrocities that they commit all in the name of a merciful god? I don't see how any god could allow his/her dispels and followers to carry on like wild animals, killing and preaching hate in his/her name... That is another thing that bothers me why is there so much faith in a being that has provided nothing but suffering in the lives of so many and provided comfort to those who deserve it least in this world. If that is the definition of mercy, I will walk the straight and narrow path straight to hell. how can someone supposedly merciful let their people die and suffer for the comfort of the sinner? 

but then who am I to say what is right or wrong? whats right to me might be a capital sin to others. what is right for me might be a whole other kinda wrong for someone else, that is what I keep coming back to what makes us who we are? which brings me back to the age old question, WHO ARE WE? WHO AM I? WHAT AM I? 

I refuse to believe that this is all there is to life, endless questioning, can't I just die now and reincarnate with the knowledge of what I am and what has made me who I am. If I was offered the choice to sacrifice my life for the answer, would I take it? when will the questions stop, why are some people just so curious? 

I never finish a day without a thousand questions on my mind, buzzing around in my brain keeping me awake. 

I'm not even going to bother editing this I am too tired for that. My body feels comfortably sore and over worked. If only I had wings, yellow fluffy fuzz and a sting, little worker bee, bumble bee. I want to be a fuzzy little bumble bee. :) 

So tired. I've an angry African mob of bees buzzing in my head.

xxxxxx

F