I am in bed snug as a bug, hoping that tonight is NEVER repeated again.

This was before I went out. 

I can honestly tell you now, I did not enjoy it, some guy managed to knock my glasses off of my face and in the process rip my nose ring out. I had a bloody nose because of it, some people tried to dance with me and I had to shove them away.
I didn't drink much, 2 shots of tequila and a beer with PLENTY of water.
We got there at 11pm and we left at 4am (MUCH TO MY DISMAY) If I didn't have to get a taxi home with the rest of them I would have been home by 3am and asleep, it is currently 5.52am and I have been home for about 15minutes, if that.
I am utterly embarrassed to turn up at home at this time of the morning, I am UTTERLY gobsmacked at how badly this night has gone.
I didn't like Liquid, I liked Envy though, they had some good songs that I liked to dance to playing, but other than that I will not be going back in a hurry.
I don't know if I am just a bad luck magnet but I ended up having to help some utterly drunk 19 year old girl who's son had been killed in a car crash, two months ago. I had to help her, I couldn't just leave her there, it is not right for people to see others in need and have the means to help them and not do so, it is wrong, I did what I could, she calmed down eventually. I had to convince her that I am happily married to a lovely lady who is in South Africa at the moment visiting family, that was the only way she calmed down when I started talking to her about my 'Wife', she had been asking me if I was dating one of the girls I was with thus I got on to the topic of being married. I hope she made it home okay, I honestly do, I have her phone number and I told her I would text her in the morning and see if she made it home okay.

I think everything happens for a reason, tonight might be a reason and a lesson to learn, going out and partying and returning home a sober mess of body aches, sore limbs, butchered feet and a lot more frustration than needed, it is not really worth the effort and money spent. It seriously is not worth it. I spent so much time dancing that I honestly am shattered and in bits. Later on to day the body ache will set in. :(

Back on to another topic though, I am utterly embarrassed that I got home at this godforsaken hour. I think I will opt for the book in bed night in next time I get asked to go out.. I feel like crap, today will be a day spent walking with my tail between my legs.

Shame, embarrassment and frustration sums up tonight.

I am happy with my body, are you happy with yours?

Since the start of the new college year I have noticed a subtle change in the way in which I see the world. 

I have dreads, tattoos, I have gone vegan. I am adopting different values and morals, I am actually trying when it comes to essay writing and college in general. I would like to obtain good grades and move on with my life, before I couldn't careless.

The issue I am having at the moment is one that deals with the conventions of women, the social conventions of women that have been created by men, for men. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a man hating, angry, person who would like to see the end of the male species, I might not like them very much but I won’t go that far. :) The issue I have is the fact that they have made these things that trap women in a prison of fear and frustration. Women mutilate them selves for the likes of men, not for the fact that it is hygienic to do so, but because MEN say it is attractive which then puts forth the notion that other women also find it attractive. 

Now this mutilation comes in MANY forms. A few of which are: Hair removal, make-up,  high heels, uncomfortable underwear, uncomfortable clothing, etc. 

Hair removal is one of the most frustrating things to me. Women are expected to shave off any and every hair that is on their bodies, apart from eyebrows, lashes and the hair on their heads. Now I can understand the armpits and such for hygiene reasons but the rest of it? NO! 

I have been growing my leg hair out since the middle of November, I only just shaved it off, and I can tell you now, I WANT IT ALL BACK . 

My legs feel  bald and uncomfortable. 

I used to shave my legs religiously every single day for years now, until one day I just thought bugger this, I am not putting myself through this torture any more: Cuts, bumps, ingrown hairs, sensitive skin, flaking skin, burning, stubble. BUGGER THAT, I am not going through that anymore. 

I shave my armpits when ever I feel like it, like when I wear tank tops, but that is it really. I don’t give a flying  daisy who sees my ‘FUR’ if you want to call it that. I would rather be furry and comfortable than bald and itchy and  irritated. 

I have honestly got a problem with the fact that the world expects women to go through such utter agony and frustration in order to ‘LOOK SEXY’ Sorry but I find a woman that is comfortable with the way she looks and feels in her own skin more attractive than a woman who has to rip hair out and stick uncomfortable clothing on and hurt her body in order to look sexy. 

Call me a bra burning, hate spreading, man hating hippie, call me what ever the heck you want, I will not compromise my body in order to look sexy to you, I will not compromise the way my skin feels and is in order to make an impression in a guys mind, or even another woman's mind, I was happy with hairy legs, I don’t need another person in my life as a my other half that has issues with my body and the way it looks. Ultimately it is my  body, I does not have to match up to your standards, It has to match up to mine, I have to live with it, not YOU. 

Any person that has to change the way they look and feel uncomfortable in their own skin, just to please someone else needs to move away from that person and take a step back and look at the reasons why they are doing it. Other people do not matter, if you feel comfortable with a pot belly and flabby arms then GOOD FOR YOU. DON’T LET ANY ONE CHANGE YOU. It is your choice, you can be whoever the hell you want to be, if you don’t like the image you present the world then ONLY YOU can change it. 
If you like shaving and doing such things to your body then good for you, I am happy for you, but I won't subject myself to it., it is just one of those things. 

so Shut up if you are complaining about how horrible it is to shave or wear heels, but you HAVE TO DO IT. NO you don’t, you have a choice, and you are making it. if you don’t like doing it, then don’t  do it. 
Shut up and be happy with your body,

Hello there.

Hi there.
This is my first post. I suppose I should introduce myself.
I am FernAmber.I am a chickpea munchin, coffee sluggin, dreadhead feminist who is not entirely sure who she is.
I am  a vegan as well.
All of this roughly means that; I AM AN INDEPENDENT ETHICAL WOMAN THAT DOESN'T NEED A MAN OR A WOMAN, JUST COFFEE.